Putting the home in homeostasis

Ping!   “I know it’s last minute, but I need you to send me a quick bio and photo for the booklet we’re putting together for the conference. I need it in the next 30 minutes—I’m crunched for time. Thanks a million!”

My husband’s secretary. Some corporate retreat we’re going to next month, and apparently, we are all getting a booklet with everyone’s photo and bio. As if it were some singles mixer.

Ok, to the task at hand. The 30 minute clock is ticking. I’m not even going to think about how long it will take to properly photoshop a recent snapshot. Hmmm…my life in less than 100 words? This sort of thing must be easy when you have a job title to point to, an award or two in your pocket. “40 Moms Under 40” doesn’t exist.

Let’s see, my life in a tweet: She loves to read, take long walks….delete, delete, delete. Ugh, those things haven’t been true in years. Let’s face it, I only have a stack of good intentions on my nightstand. Long walks? Well, my last long walk got extended by two miles uphill due to the desperate search of one precious blankie my two year old dropped en route. Did you know double strollers can double in weight when the occupants are screaming?

When Margaret is not unclogging shower drains or frantically speeding forgotten projects off to school, she enjoys….delete, delete, delete. A harried life is not exactly the picture I want to paint. Between nagging her 15 year old about his eagle project and retrieving small toys from the garbage disposal, Margaret plans to…delete, delete. Argh!

Last month my sweet husband found himself in the ER after an overseas business trip. Deep vein thrombosis. Basically a large blot clot deep in the veins. He received great care and is now on the mend, but what I remember most about how the doctor explained the healing process was the word “homeostasis.”

Most of us remember this word from freshman biology. “The tendency of a system to maintain internal stability, owing to the coordinated response of its parts to any situation that would disturb its normal function.”

That’s it! That’s me! That’s my job title! Senior Vice President of Homeostasis. Better yet, Chief Executive Officer of Homeostasis. Yes. That does have a nice ring to it.

Our home is a system, is it not? The family members are the vital organs. A constant barrage of stimuli are threatening to disturb their functions, and how does a family expect to remain stable? How does the system make thousands of tiny course corrections every day? The CEO of Homeostasis!

Just as we take for granted every cold we don’t catch, every germ we shake off, every bruise that heals, not to mention how our bodies manage to sustain a cozy 98.6 degrees even when it’s freezing outside, we often overlook the homeostasis of the home.

Did you ever stop to think how the baby is magically no longer stinky? Homeostasis. The shower drain is no longer backed up? Homeostasis. Or when you were starving and a hot dinner appeared, it was homeostasis who put it in the crock pot 10-12 hours before.

You were running late and you got a ride. You found the nail clippers, dental floss, even a protractor, all when you needed them most. Homeostasis. Why both your legs aren’t broken right now, why you play an instrument, and why the house is not on fire, all this and the toilet paper finally made it onto the roll—homeostasis, baby!

When sickness or injury occur, sometimes outside help is needed. But most of the time, it is simply homeostasis that needs to be supported. A cast, a sling, stitches, rest and plenty of fluids, all these remedies are simply aimed at helping homeostasis have time to do her thing. Homeostasis really is amazing!

So here’s my “quick bio:” Margaret was born and raised in southern California. She graduated from BYU where she met her hunky husband. Currently, she is the CEO of Homeostasis, a fledgling new start up dedicated to raising seven healthy, happy, productive children. When they nap, she writes about it.

Whew! Six minutes to spare! Just enough time to take ten years off the photo.