Ain’t Nobody’s Fool


Jane has a new pacifier that reads, “Pull to sound alarm.”

Andy and Kate just got the joke. But a screaming baby is no joke at all, especially not on a long car ride!

Jane is my first baby to love a pacifier. All my other babies liked them okay as newborns, but could never hold one in their mouths all by their onsies for more than 6 seconds. They fussed more over one falling from their lips than not having one at all. At least that’s what I told myself when I hurtled those blasted things across our master bedroom at 3 o’clock in the morning because duct taping it to their little mouths was not a viable option.

My father-in-law told me that back in Tennessee they call pacifiers “foolers.” Very droll. But there is a brief window in which Jane can be “fooled.” The window opens with a full tummy and drowsy eyelids and then snap shuts if a paci cannot be procured immediately and full-blown hysteria is reached.

I’m a rookie at this binky business. I keep loosing them. I own eight and I can never find one. I need to start investing in those clippy things that attach the pacifier to your baby. Maybe eight’s not enough and I need to start stashing pacifiers in every pocket, cubby and cup holder I own. I should never be left patting my pockets and purse and coming up short. She’s gets so smiley and seems like such a cherub when we load up the car to leave someplace, I always forget to double check I have one!

But fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice…oh, where is a blasted fooler when you need it?!



One response »

  1. Hi. I wanted to offer a suggestion concerning the binky thing. Something that worked well for me to keep track of binkies was to attach them to something big. I’ve seen them attached to stuffed animals, but I attached the ones at my house to blankets. And they were removable, should the blanket need to be washed. It is a really easy do it yourself sort of project, although I don’t think I’m explaining it well.
    Anyway, good luck with the joys of pacifier land…
    By the way, I think you are a pretty funny lady. Came to your blog through a link on one of your articles, which I found through a link on the blog “women in the scriptures.”

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