Computer Time Warp


Very few things are more frustrating than a computer that doesn’t do what you want it to do.

It’s amazing I even put out a blog with how frustrating my gigabytes act sometimes. This is why you hardly see any pictures on my blog. This is why my blog is comparatively plain. Not only do I lack the know-how on how to spruce it up and transform it into the beautiful eye candy you find on so many popular blogs these days, but just knowing how long things take to upload, knowing that if I get up and leave my desk for 30 seconds or more (with little kids, this happens often) the computer will log me off and the internet connection will fail and then take forever to reconnect…Well, it’s enough to plunge my little blog makeover aspirations down to the bottom of my to-do list every time.

Why is it the waiting time on a computer is longer than say, dog years? 30 seconds feels painstakingly slow, 10 minutes an absolute eternity. I’m more than happy to wait an hour for clothes to come through the dryer, but I’m ready to spit nails when I have to shake my mouse for more than 15 seconds in order to resuscitate my monitor, then breathe fire when it reads, “no signal data” and I have to fiddle with the cords again just to get an image, then experience what I can best describe as acid reflux when the internet connection icon shows I’m disconnected. Again.

It’s silly, really. It would take infinitely more time to scribble these musings out in long hand, make hundreds of copies, stuff them into envelopes, stamp and address them individually and mail them out to you all everyday. (And you and I both know there’s only one time a year to justify that level insanity and it’s called Christmas Cards.) An extra minute here and there isn’t going to hurt anybody.

I wouldn’t normally complain about my patchy wi-fi or clogged up modem, except that I am bringing you this post via my parent’s computer and it is divine. The pages surf silky smooth. The connection is strong and the pixels are sharp. It’s like flying first class for the first time and discovering coach to be the cattle herding agribusiness it really is. How can I go back?

So what are my choices? Spend money updating my system at home, or….fly first class down here every other day and blog like the good Steve Jobs intended.

My parents live at the beach. It’s a toss up.


3 responses »

  1. We have a computer that is four years old and now would be considered a dinosaur. Have fun in Cali. Sorry about last week I lost my phone all day (it was on vibrate) so I had a hard time finding it. Anyway, I assume your kids probably wanted to play. We’ll get them together when your back and hey maybe at our new place. Yeah!

  2. Just wait for your next birthday, anniversary or holiday of your choice, and go out and just buy yourself a new computer. Explain the need of your new acquisition to your husband, and thank him profusely for this wonderful gift. Lather him with a generous helping of praise, gratitude and love. Works like a charm. He feels good about himself, and you score a much needed computer. It’s a win-win situation! Good luck!
    Just beware…He might catch-on to this “game” and buy a new lawnmower or fishing rod for St. Patrick’s Day… 🙂

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