Smoke and Mirrors


“Haven’t you had that baby yet?”

Allow me to answer one and all when I sigh, “No, not yet.”

(Of course, this question is only more depressing when one has actually had the baby, unbeknownst to the tactless third party. I’ve seen it happen before. Not pretty.)

When I was six months pregnant, most people thought I was due any day now. No? Well, surely I must be carrying twins. No? Oh, well….(cue awkward trail off.)

That’s when I would smile kindly and reply, “When you look at me and then feel down right sorry for me…that’s when I’m due.  I can’t explain it, really. You’ll just know it when you see it.”

People are starting to see it.

In fact, someone just asked me today if I was carrying twins. I was this close to saving us both the embarrassment and simply saying, “yes” but I couldn’t. Friend of a friend. She’d find out sooner or later.

I have now reached the incredibly childish phase of gestation where I throw myself on my bed Sunday mornings, bereft of any hope that I can fit into something suitable for church. I’m not proud of it, but there it is. My tried and true go-to skirt I’ve been wearing for the past ten weeks finally said “no.” If I don any kind of jumper I’ll be pegged as a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade float that miraculously flew over five states intact.

A friend once told me, “It’s all smoke and mirrors. Concentrate on a great hat and your set.” I get the message: Distract the eye. But I couldn’t help but feel like some farm animal out of a “Nanny McPhee” story all dressed up in a Sunday bonnet.

The other day I put on an old racing shirt of Paul’s. School bus yellow. It looked so roomy and silky. Big mistake. School bus yellow is not, I repeat, is not a minimizing color. In fact, I think I ruined the shirt altogether for Paul. He hasn’t worn it since my big, bright fashion don’t. But I still laugh whenever I see that thing hanging in the closet.

The fact of the matter is, we’ve arrived. This baby and I are no longer “a cute bump.” We’re a duo. And it’s high time we progressed from this landlord/tenant relationship and became very good neighbors.

I’ve loved having her stay, but I’m afraid she’s trashed the place and I never did collect a security deposit. But I know this great little cradle she can stay in. Very close by. Room to grow. Location, location, location.


11 responses »

  1. Loved your post today! You say it all soooo well for all of us moms. Soo true… Thinking of your today – Stacey said the baby comes today!!! Please send me a picture when you get the chance.
    Love you so! Margaret #1

  2. SO good ! You say it so well, any mom would relate !
    I can’t wait to see her, send a picture.
    Have a good delivery (as in fast and easy)
    Love you

  3. Oh gosh……..look at it this way……she’s just got to come out sooner that later!!!! As I am new to your posts….tell me…..whennis she due? You most probably get real fed up with telling people but all I know is that you are pregnant so….congratulations!
    I just love your posts and look forward to them. I live in the south of England where it has been very hot all over the Easter weekend but it is meant to be turning cooler over the next few days. I wish you all the very best with little one!
    Many thanks

    Barney Bear xxx

  4. I am hoping for April 29th. That would have been my Mother’s birthday, nothing would have pleased her more than to have Glenna’s grand daughter born then. Can’t wait for the news and please don’t stop writing when you get “extra” busy!
    Love, Susie

  5. Actually, I keep thinking about the cute clothes you did wear on Sunday (even before I read this). I thought there were fantastic. Such a pretty shade of grey and with the yellow….I loved it! Luke told me you were going to have the baby Monday morning, but alas no. Not many women are willing to stick it our past their due date. Good for you! BTW-Luke practically taught my whole lesson. Four year olds are so smart! Especially yours. Best wishes for a safe delivery!

  6. Margret, CONGRATS on your new baby girl! I love the blog. You are fantastically creative. Don’t stop! Anything to make a mom at home with lots of beautiful ninos is worth it’s weight in gold! Welcome new baby girl!

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