True Lies


I just got off the scale.

I’d like to take this opportunity to thank each and every one of you who has been so sweet as to lie to me this month. I have been showered for weeks now with compliments along the lines of,

“You look great!”
“You are all baby!”
“You look like the snake who swallowed the bunny!”
“Have another helping, your eating for two!”

Bless you one and all. I know you mean well, and only the truest of friends would bold face lie to me in my fragile state. You all know just what to say. Thank you.

I know logically, the fact remains that this baby doesn’t weigh 50lbs, even if you factor in the placenta, etc…But I’ll gobble up the flattery anyhow. Along with those peanut butter chocolate shakes and M&Ms.

Usually, I’m due at the same time as some movie star, and take great comfort in watching her explode right along there with me on the succeeding covers of Us Weekly Magazine while I wait in line at the grocery store. But I haven’t had that this time around. No fat Gwyneth Paltrow to help me take heart. No chubby Kate Hudson to console me…

So thanks, everyone, for buoying me up in the face of my swollen face. My solace is that this will all result in another plump, sweet face:

A face I can’t wait to meet.





4 responses »

  1. my dear don’t have movie stars to compare to, but just remember your past pregnancies, and what a beautiful willowy mommy you became shortly after the delivery of that very large baby boy or girl. And remember how good you are at gestating those very bright children !

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