Techno Beat

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“Look, Luke! My GPS! My GPS!”

Dean stretched out his arm and brandished a 99 cent calculator in Luke’s face this morning, quite proud of himself.

“My GPS!”

Now, we don’t even have a GPS. I use the navigator on my iPhone all the time, but I’ve never used the acronym GPS while using it. How on earth does a two year old even know what a GPS is? Oh, wait, it’s coming to me. “Up.” He must’ve learned the word from the movie “Up.”

Right now he is playing a game on my iPhone. He’s managed to unplug it from it’s charger, slide over the access bar, select his game and play. He’s two! He’s constantly badgering my purse and pockets asking, “Can I play with my phone, Mom? Can I play with my phone?”

Whoa, whoa, whoa little cowboy. Let’s get our possessive pronouns straight. I was 33 years old and had four children before I got my first smart phone. The road to your own personal cell phone is still decades off, my fine, cuddly, blue eyed friend. That thing is mine. But you may use it, if you say please.

“Please?”

Now say, “Your gorgeous.”

“Your gorgeous.”

Andy and Kate were shocked to find out that cell phones weren’t invented until my teen years, and then weren’t even widely used until my college days.

Who knows if my kids will even learn the dewey decimal system at school? And they find regular FM radio exceedingly frustrating.

“Mom, rewind that song. We want to hear it again.”

“I can’t, it’s radio. That’s it.”

“Stop kidding around Mom. Just rewind the song!”

They can’t even watch TV without a DVR.

“MOM! The remote’s not working! I can’t pause my show!”

But I confess, it is difficult to remember what life was like pre-cell phones, pre-Amazon.com, pre-wikipedia, pre-blogging.

I guess, that’s why I’m writing about it all now, so I can remember what today was like, before the next onslaught of big inventions and gadgets.

We did cut the cable about a month ago. No more TV. A throw-back to simpler times, or so we thought. But the other night Paul was glued to YouTube watching homemade posted reels of our alma mater’s all-stars set to heart pumping music.

“Maybe it was a mistake, Hon. A big, egregious mistake. I thought I could live without watching college sports…but I can’t!!”

While Paul was on a long business trip overseas, I became addicted to a BBC drama that I watched on my iPhone via the Netflix app after the kids went to bed called “Monarch of the Glen.” I’m still in season 3. Three more seasons to go. It’s set in Scotland and it’s so addicting my entire inner monologue has adopted a thick Scottish accent. I think of everybody in terms of “lad” and “lass” now.

So I don’t know who we thought we were kidding by cutting the cable. We’re all still suckers for glowing, back lit entertainment. I don’t even like to read paper books anymore. I prefer them on a Kindle. Paul will only listen to audio books on his ipod now. All that manual page turning is too laborious for the likes of us.

I think we need to go camping.

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4 responses »

  1. This article cracks me up. I really do think children come out of the womb now knowing how to play handheld games, Nintendo and how to run the DVD player. I have to admit, I think I’m pretty savvy when it comes to running the electronics around our house, (well compared to my husband who still can’t figure out the remote for the cable TV I’m savvy) but compared to my children and grandchildren I’m a novice. I actually like all these new gizmo’s (does that word date me or what?) One of the best inventions I’m aware of so far? My DVR! I love it. We can watch our favorite shows with no commercials! And no more grocery shopping and wondering if I have some item already at home. I just call my husband on my cell phone and ask if the celery in the fridge is still good. I actually have a GPS. We just took a trip to San Fran and drove right to where we needed to go. It saved us a lot of headaches in navigating CA highways. And I love having the Internet where I can look up things when I think about it. If I’m reading a book and they make a reference I’ve never heard of before I can look it up and I’ve learned something new. Thanks for a fun article.

  2. Oh Margaret, I feel ya. Brooke added to her Christmas list for the first time “IPod”. She says, “I know how to work it Mom”…what she’s missing is that I don’t have “her” songs, I have mine! LOL I bet she won’t want it so bad when its full of boring Classical and church songs. Mwahhhhahhahha. Oh, and she wants a phone, but for the games. Grrr….

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