“Look, Luke! My GPS! My GPS!”
Dean stretched out his arm and brandished a 99 cent calculator in Luke’s face this morning, quite proud of himself.
Now, we don’t even have a GPS. I use the navigator on my iPhone all the time, but I’ve never used the acronym GPS while using it. How on earth does a two year old even know what a GPS is? Oh, wait, it’s coming to me. “Up.” He must’ve learned the word from the movie “Up.”
Right now he is playing a game on my iPhone. He’s managed to unplug it from it’s charger, slide over the access bar, select his game and play. He’s two! He’s constantly badgering my purse and pockets asking, “Can I play with my phone, Mom? Can I play with my phone?”
Whoa, whoa, whoa little cowboy. Let’s get our possessive pronouns straight. I was 33 years old and had four children before I got my first smart phone. The road to your own personal cell phone is still decades off, my fine, cuddly, blue eyed friend. That thing is mine. But you may use it, if you say please.
Now say, “Your gorgeous.”
Andy and Kate were shocked to find out that cell phones weren’t invented until my teen years, and then weren’t even widely used until my college days.
Who knows if my kids will even learn the dewey decimal system at school? And they find regular FM radio exceedingly frustrating.
“Mom, rewind that song. We want to hear it again.”
“I can’t, it’s radio. That’s it.”
“Stop kidding around Mom. Just rewind the song!”
They can’t even watch TV without a DVR.
“MOM! The remote’s not working! I can’t pause my show!”
But I confess, it is difficult to remember what life was like pre-cell phones, pre-Amazon.com, pre-wikipedia, pre-blogging.
I guess, that’s why I’m writing about it all now, so I can remember what today was like, before the next onslaught of big inventions and gadgets.
We did cut the cable about a month ago. No more TV. A throw-back to simpler times, or so we thought. But the other night Paul was glued to YouTube watching homemade posted reels of our alma mater’s all-stars set to heart pumping music.
“Maybe it was a mistake, Hon. A big, egregious mistake. I thought I could live without watching college sports…but I can’t!!”
While Paul was on a long business trip overseas, I became addicted to a BBC drama that I watched on my iPhone via the Netflix app after the kids went to bed called “Monarch of the Glen.” I’m still in season 3. Three more seasons to go. It’s set in Scotland and it’s so addicting my entire inner monologue has adopted a thick Scottish accent. I think of everybody in terms of “lad” and “lass” now.
So I don’t know who we thought we were kidding by cutting the cable. We’re all still suckers for glowing, back lit entertainment. I don’t even like to read paper books anymore. I prefer them on a Kindle. Paul will only listen to audio books on his ipod now. All that manual page turning is too laborious for the likes of us.
I think we need to go camping.