It’s happened. I’ve joined the world of the electronically living.
I have a phone. An i-phone. I’m still shaken, a tad blurred.
I’m still just figuring out all the stuff I can do with it. Right now I’m just so stoked I can place a call outside of the house. But yesterday, while Dean was in his bath, I sat on the tiny linoleum floor and discovered the “App Store.” Did you know some of those apps are FREE!? (What am I saying? Of course you know…I’m like the last person to get a DVD player telling everybody, “Did you know you don’t have to rewind these nifty things?”)
So now the kids and I can play Mad Libs in waiting rooms, Kate can memorize her sight words, and Andy can nail down his times tables before school starts up again, all with the touch and glide of a finger. I’ve got an animal matching game and a toddler puzzle game…this is gonna be so great.
I can find movie times, see what’s at my Redbox down the hill, and pinpoint my exact whereabouts on the map. I’ll never be lost again!! And books! I can download book after book and read at night without the aid of a flashlight and without all that paper consumption. I’m so green now.
The one down side to all of this is…well, I’ve been a little, well, a little…self righteous (there, I said it) when it comes to phone etiquette and texting in the car. You see, I didn’t have a phone, so I could be as preachy as I wanted.
I would tease Paul, calling his phone his “oracle.” (The same word the Lilliputians used for Gulliver’s pocket watch.) I’d get upset at the dinner table and refer to it as “his precious” and he would roll his eyes, give me a sideways glance and start stroking it like Gollum. “My precioussssss,” he’d hiss. Oh, it was great fun.
But now I have a “precious” too. Now I have an oracle to consult before making my every move. Now I have to put my money where my mouth is and sign Oprah’s “No Phone Zone Pledge.” And all that judgment I passed on children transfixed by their Gameboys? What makes my phone any different?
But I’m determined. I must only use this new power for good. With great power comes great…oh, you know the rest.
Just so long as no one tries to take you away from me,