Sword Play


Luke’s 4th birthday is next week.

For months now, all my Star Wars fan has been talking about is getting a Mace Windu lightsaber that glows. (For all you Star Wars novices out there, Mace Windu sports a purple lightsaber and is played by Samuel Jackson who, by the way, brings an untouchable amount of coolness to the Jedi’s character.)

So last week, I found it. I found the purple light saber that glows. It was covered in dust, buried under the blues and reds, but after carefully removing the more popular sabers like a toy archeologist, there it was: Mace Windu. His lightsaber even featured a button that pops out the blade automatically for maximum stealth. The fluorescent store lights beamed down from above like a birthday beacon of hope. I sauntered on over to the checkout line feeling almost as cool as Samuel Jackson himself.

Yesterday, I could hardly contain my Birthday Fairy excitement and probed Luke’s enthusiasm.

“So, Mace Windu has the awesome purple light saber, right?”


“And that’s the one you want for your birthday, right? It’s the coolest light saber ever, huh?” I waited for his face to light up and for him to go into his whole shpeel about how Mace Windu is the coolest Jedi ever, but to my horror,

“Nah. I want Qui-Gon’s light saber now. The green one with that one kind of handle? You know, the exact same one cousin Steven has?”

Somewhere in the distance, I heard the Pac-Man melody of defeat. (Wah, woh, weeeeooohhhhh….)

“Oh, ya, right….the green one. You mean the one his mother bought for him in 2002? Of course. Qui-Gon…” (Note to the Star Wars newcomer: Qui-Gon was played by Liam Neeson.)

Normally, this would not be a big deal. I would just dash off to the store and make a simple exchange, right? But do you know how hard it is to find this exact glowing green lightsaber with Qui-Gon’s picture on it? Impossible!! I was lucky to find Mace Windu’s obscure saber. Now Qui-Gon’s?! These “elegant weapons of a more civilized age” only come in Anakin, Obe-Wan, and Darth Vader flavors. I could go online, but I’ve already stepped over into the “let’s take advantage of people in a hurry” Express Shipping window of extortion, which I refuse to pay.

Ugh. So here’s what I’ll do: I’ll make one trip to my mom’s local mega-chain, but that’s it. One last ditch effort for Liam’s sword of choice, but if it’s not there, it’s not there. Mace Windu is still an 11 on the cool-o-meter.

Okay, I’ve got my keys, my purse….

May the force be with me.


2 responses »

  1. This made me chuckle. Star Wars mania has swept our boys for years. We have a whole bin of Star Wars weapons. Light sabers of from every good guy and bad one. The tips are all bent now and they don’t make the cool noises the retractible ones did when we first bought them. I can picture my boys running all over the yard with one clipped on their shorts. Fun times!

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