Carpet Rides


“Sowwy…” sniffed my pouty-lipped three year old, Luke, this morning. You see, he was covered head to toe in the 44oz Very Berry smoothie I had just made…as was the kitchen floor, the cupboards, even the insides of the left opened drawers…

And the carpet. (Cue creepy organ music.)

Now, I know some moms more patient than me would have dashed for the camera and created a memory. But, the big kids were running late for school and curious Baby Dean was already toddling over to the magenta massacre like a fly to honey chanting, “moomie, moomie” (that’s how he says “smoothie”), and I was hungry–that was my breakfast!

I took a deep breath, put Luke in the bathtub, sent the big kids out the door, got a load of berry stained laundry agitating in the washer, and put a movie on for Curious Dean. Both Luke and the kitchen floor were cleaned up in minutes. But there was spill over.

On the carpet. (Again, cue creepy organ music.)

Who’s idea was this to staple gun hundreds of square yards of high pile fabric onto the floors of America? We encourage our youth to dig in the dirt, concoct in the kitchen, and dip things in dye. Just don’t come inside the house and get it on the carpet!!

I can connect our Very Berry spots and other carpet stains like star constellations in the sky. We have the entire zodiac just in the 4 square feet leading from the kitchen to the stairs. If there were a blackout, I could snuggle with my kids in the play room, shine the flashlight on the carpet and say,

“Oh look, kids! Cassiopeia! Look right there! The Hunter! Now, who can find the Big Dipper? Good!!”

I’ve resigned to just have the carpets cleaned every six months. We do okay for about the first three months. I still scrub the stains away. Towards the end of the fourth month, I get about a C, C- in Carpet Cleaning. By month five I’m down to just vacuuming, and if that doesn’t lift the stain, so be it. The Carpet Guy will be coming soon.

Right now I’m in month six: constellation month.

So Luke is one lucky boy he made his big Smoothie Spill of 2010 today of all days. The Carpet Guy is coming tomorrow!

Hmmm, how do you think I could get one of those truck mounted carpet cleaning machines? Do you think they could mount one of those puppies onto the back of a minivan?


2 responses »

  1. You make me laugh. I was tickled pink when I bought our house. The whole main floor is wood and tile. Only the bedrooms and basement have wall to wall carpet. It makes cleaning a cinch. But, lets talk about those bedrooms and area rugs…man, oh man, do they need a cleaning!

  2. That happened to me just the other night. Made a big choc shake and then spilled it all over the counter and floor. This one was all me , the kids were not even around.

    Keep it up I love to read your blog at the end of a busy day and Smile.

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