“There are two things you just open your wallet for: the perfect bathing suit and the perfect pair of jeans.” Those are my mother’s pearls of wisdom. Since bathing suits are a whole other post on their own, let’s talk about jeans.
I ask so little. I want them to be slimming, but not too tight. I want a touch of stretch, but I don’t want them falling off of me by mid morning. I need a dark rinse, as my pants tend to double as an over-sized napkin for my tots. Oh, and not too low. How on earth did this ultra-low-rise craze get so out of control? I just need them to come up high enough to cover what I like to call “my pizza dough” but low enough to not be labeled “mom jeans.” Long enough to wear heels, but not so long I trip over them on my way to my shoe rack. Distressed, but not too distressed. Glamorous, but not bedazzled. Good pocket placement…and above all, I want my husband to say, “mmm, HMMM!” when I walk by. All for under $100. Is that too much to ask?
Right now I have a pair in “the size” that just barely fit. That is, if I don’t ever wash them. It’s getting gross. So you see my dilemma. It’s time for a new pair. Where are you all buying jeans? I really wanna know. If I’m gonna lug a stroller bound entourage with me into the dressing room, I want to know exactly what I’m looking for. Where do population replenishing people shop when they are out of the panel front stage?
I wish there were a Good Jeans Fairy out there. Maybe if I start crying in the dressing room, she’ll appear. But I don’t know how she’s going to hear me over the cries and shouts of the two little boys strapped in the stroller in there with me.