Toddler Mom

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This lemonade thing has me acting like a toddler.

You see, the whole concept behind the craze is “flushing the system out.” This mean 100’s of ounces of liquid per day. So before we go anywhere I have to make myself go “one more time, just to be sure.” And then once we get anyplace, I’m the one telling my kids, “I know I just went, but I have to go again!” And after four kids, my bladder control is indeed comparable to a 2 year old’s.

That, and I’m grumpy around 4pm if I haven’t had my nap. Who am I kidding, I haven’t napped in 8 years! Unless you count falling asleep while nursing at 3am a “nap.” But that is the time when I have to start thinking about feeding the troops and that means savory smells in my kitchen. This diet, er..cleanse, wouldn’t be half so difficult if I didn’t have to prepare real, scrumptious food for other people. I’m not even that hungry. I just want to feel real food in my mouth. The kind of food you can bite into and chew and taste and swallow and….mmmmm….(four more days, four more days…)

I’m also plumb tuckered out by 8pm. With only 1,000 calories a day, my energy levels take a dive along with the sun. By the time I’ve broadcast the call to “get jammified and brush teeth,” my eyes are slits and I’m the one stumbling to my bed requesting my favorite blankie. (By “blankie”, I mean a king-sized down comforter.)

This fad had better hustle up some results and quick. I don’t know how much long my toddler alter ego can be in charge.

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2 responses »

  1. Brett did this last year. I like the toddler comparison, it rings true to my memory. He would sit at the dinner table, elbows on table, hands on his cheeks, like he was being punished. I’ve never done it, but we have been advised to never do it at the same time. There needs to be at least one functioning parent in the home.

  2. and I thought my diet was bad. At least I get solid foods. I’ve been 9 days only eating lean proteins, fruits, vegetables, and the occasional piece of cheese. I miss bread in a bad way. And rice. and pasta. At least yours will be over in a few days. I’m looking at a little over 6 more weeks of this. On the plus side, I’ve already lost 7-8 lbs. but these workouts are killer. At least I can move this week. without any bread to soak up the water, it was running through me too. So I had to pee all day, AND I couldn’t sit on the toilet. falling on the toilet is a better description.

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