Okay, so a week’s worth of sweating on the elliptical and cooking veggies in my new electric pressure cooker have not melted away one single pound. I am left with no alternative. I must try this ridiculous lemonade diet.
I know, I can actually hear your eyes rolling from here. I’m laughing at myself. More like sniggering, actually. Listen to what it entails: Drink 7-10 glasses of a special homemade lemonade consisting of water, fresh lemon juice, grade B real maple syrup and cayenne pepper. That’s it. Drink nothing but this horrid stuff for 7 days and watch the pounds fall away. There is this mint herbal tea you drink at night, but that’s it. After that, simply ease your palate back to reality with lots of OJ and fresh veggies. Sounds simple enough. If these weirdos on the internet can do it, so can I! (So wait, does that make me a….)
So why am I driven to such extremes? I need a win. It’s as simple as that. In my world of “I didn’t want the green cup, I wanted the blue cup!” and “you’re the meanest mommy ever,” I need a tangible, real win. I want to see that pre-pregnancy weight on the scale and feel victorious. So if I can just stick with it for a measly seven days, I can snatch victory from the jaws of the mundane and cry, “Ha! My body is mine again!”
I’ll keep you apprised of my progress. I did read something on the FAQs page about an itchy tongue, but no matter. I am determined! Now, I think I’ll go enjoy a farewell rendezvous in the kitchen before my transformation begins…
Wish me luck!