Make Lemonade

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Okay, so a week’s worth of sweating on the elliptical and cooking veggies in my new electric pressure cooker have not melted away one single pound. I am left with no alternative. I must try this ridiculous lemonade diet.

I know, I can actually hear your eyes rolling from here. I’m laughing at myself.  More like sniggering, actually. Listen to what it entails: Drink 7-10 glasses of a special homemade lemonade consisting of water, fresh lemon juice, grade B real maple syrup and cayenne pepper.  That’s it. Drink nothing but this horrid stuff for 7 days and watch the pounds fall away. There is this mint herbal tea you drink at night, but that’s it. After that, simply ease your palate back to reality with lots of OJ and fresh veggies. Sounds simple enough. If these weirdos on the internet can do it, so can I! (So wait, does that make me a….)

So why am I driven to such extremes? I need a win. It’s as simple as that. In my world of “I didn’t want the green cup, I wanted the blue cup!” and “you’re the meanest mommy ever,” I need a tangible, real win. I want to see that pre-pregnancy weight on the scale and feel victorious. So if I can just stick with it for a measly seven days, I can snatch victory from the jaws of the mundane and cry, “Ha! My body is mine again!”

I’ll keep you apprised of my progress. I did read something on the FAQs page about an itchy tongue, but no matter. I am determined! Now, I think I’ll go enjoy a farewell rendezvous in the kitchen before my transformation begins…

Wish me luck!

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2 responses »

  1. margaret, i tried that diet! well, i called it a cleanse but it was the same thing. i didn’t have good results but that may because of my ingenious idea to combine it with a beach vacation. (what was i thinking?) After 2 days on the diet and 1 full day on the beach with little sunblock, i had some serious sun poisoning. i won’t share any of the horrid details but i haven’t been able to try it since.

    The diet was hard but I think I would’ve done a lot better if I hadn’t gotten so sunburned. I can remember having to hang my head out the window of the car, trying not to smell the tempting smell of the french fries my sister devoured. so, i guess just steer clear of the beach and you’ll be fine!!! I’ve known people that have had remarkable results with it! let the countdown begin! Reclaim your weight!!!

    H.

  2. I’ll bet it works, it’s called starvation. But hey, I’ve always been a fan of starvation if it means my jeans will fit.

    I linked you today…

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