Drivers Ed

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My oldest has had no driving experience, no drivers ed, not even a race car video game. But he is my worst back seat driver.

Last night it was just the two of us in the car. The light turned green. I needed to turn left. I waited for the oncoming traffic to clear. That’s when his big blond head rose up over my shoulder and shouted,

“Go, mom! The light’s green! Why aren’t you going??”

I calmly explained that while the light is indeed green, I do not have the right of way.

Then I turned down a residential street. Again, I see his noggin looming over my right shoulder.

“Are you going 25? That sign back there says 25.”

I’m doing 30. I don’t want to admit that to my law abiding son, so I slow down and say, “yes, of course.”

I was so distracted by this 8 year old GPS system  in the back seat, I missed our destination. I had to make a U-turn. The street was narrow, so it turned into a 2 point turnabout. You would’ve though Andy was locked in the car with a rogue stunt driver the way he reacted to the cars 100 yards away coming straight for us. Panic stricken, he yelps,

“Mom!! There are cars headed this way!!”

We safely had the car in the proper direction with room to spare when he started asking me why I did not park in the first available space in the parking lot.

“There’s a space. There’s one. Why aren’t you parking???”

By this time I am doing breathing exercises. What kind of mother would I be if I didn’t seize these little teaching moments? I try to explain I like to see what all my options are before choosing a spot. He seemed to understand.

On our way home, I had the audacity to take a route different from the usual way.

“Where are we going? You said we’re going home!”

And then he blurted out his true fear:

“Are we going to another store?!”

I decided not to answer and kept him in suspense.

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One response »

  1. Ha Ha! that is hilarious! Alivia does the exact same thing. We were on our way to the airport and by the way she was acting you would think her mother was blind and handicap. She had zero confidence in me, it was frustrating at the time, but hilarious now.

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