From the Pickle Jar’s Mouth

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As per my mother’s request, here are some of the funnier things my kids have said over the years. I know I have forgotten a lot, but if I don’t write these down at some point, they will get lost in the cobwebbed corners of my memory forever. So here goes:

Kate, age 2: She had been watching episodes of “Pinky Dinky Doo” where they have a “word of the day.” One Sunday, she walks into her little nursery Sunday School class and announces she has a “pwedicament.” The couple who teaches the class are sure they couldn’t of heard her correctly.

“And what’s a predicament, sweetie?”

“A wheely big pwablem!”

Dean, present day: at 15 months he can say “Ho, ho, ho!” and “thank you,” and if you say “On your marks, get set…..” he’ll supply a very enthusiastic “GO!”

Luke, a few weeks before his 3rd birthday: I was trying to teach Luke how to swim this summer, but he wouldn’t go in the water. Finally, I used what he loves best–Star Wars.

“If you want to be a Jedi Knight, you have to know how to swim like Obe-Wan in ‘The Phantom Menace,'” I coaxed.

That got him in the water. After that, every time I gave him some instruction between strokes, he would come up for air and whisper solomnly, “Yes master.” He’s a good little padawan.

Andy, last night: We took the kids into the city to see a wonderful display of Christmas lights. One tree in particular was extremely tall and had lights on every single branch and twig.

“How in the world do they get lights all the way up there?” I wondered aloud.

Beat.

“They probably hire professional, highly trained Christmas tree lighting squirrels.”

Million dollar idea.

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